I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
