We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
