She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
