we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
