my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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