i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
