You're completely useless in the revolution.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
