so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
