dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
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