is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Randomize
