She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
