Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Well I just put wine in my tea
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
