my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
