Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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