I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
