..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
