So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
After tacos, we're chasing women.
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