Will you blow on my dice?
Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
