you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
