What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
