im drinking this country out of the recession.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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