stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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