you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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