just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
