I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
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