I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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