im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
