Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
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i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
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I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
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