The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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