Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
