actually, I'm a sock model
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I love you. Go after that dick
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
