I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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