the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So much rum. So many feels.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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