barbara walters just said penis...
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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