PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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