dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
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His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
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He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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