Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
