I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
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