Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
