I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
me + whiskey = a bad person
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Randomize
