You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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