I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
