I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Randomize
