We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
