you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
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nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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