No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
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im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
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its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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