Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
