Need sex. Gaining weight.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
