Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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