I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
