In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Randomize
