you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
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