apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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