Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
