Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
my liver is dry heaving
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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