Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
