Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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